SOOO.....!
A couple days ago, I logged onto my school's website to see my grades. I noticed the two classes I took this semester with my mentor, Creative Writing: Short Story and Scriptwriting, had, "INC" in the grade section. My heart stopped.
INCOMPLETE?! INCOMPLETE?!
I thought it was impossible. The last time I had seen him it was the last day of the semester and he mentioned that my work was complete and to wait for my grades. SO, that brings the question, WHY DO I HAVE "INC" IN MY GRADE SECTION???
I emailed him. Confused, frustrated, and a bit nervous asking, "how come I have 'INC' for two of the classes I take with you?" Now..here's the part that had me really worried about how well I've done all semester. (Mind you, he's been reading my work and have given nothing but very positive and motivating feedback so you see why I was confused). This is what he said:
"I think it would be best if you could come in on Tuesday. We can talk about it then."
0.0 UMMM, OKAYYYY. So my head exploded. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! I mean I know what it means literally, but what does that mean about my grades? No smiley face or nothing to show that everything is okay and that I did well? No hint to how well I've done after a semester of receiving nothing but compliments from you?!
I WAS SCARED!
I emailed back and we scheduled a time to meet. When the time came, I was sure to be mentally prepared for some bad news. "You got an 'F'." Okay fine. I seen many of those through middle and school. It wouldn't be a surprise, but a great disappointment knowing that I actually put my all into this first semester going back to school after a couple years...or so. After signing in, I walked up the stairs S L O W. I did not want to see him. When I got to the doorway my heart was in my throat. My palms were moist. My bottom lip was being bitten. I reached my destination -- WITH A FIRM HANDSHAKE AND APPLAUSE FROM HIM. He said,
"You have done a great job with you're work. A very great job. I gave you 'A's for both of my classes and can say YOU ARE A WRITER. Have a seat."
WHAT and WHOA .
I got 'A's and my mentor, who had experience with writing just told me that, I AM A WRITER. The tears immediately began to fill my eyes, but I held them on my thick eyelashes that look as though I wear eyeliner...people say....IN WHICH I DON'T ! But wow! I AM A WRITER!
We sat and he printed some of my work in which had comments and big fat 'A's on the front pages. I couldn't stop smiling. We talked about the upcoming semester and, here's some good news...One of my stories he wants me to work on over the summer to have prepared for Fall semester :) !! It's titled, "Opt Out," which is a dystopian short screenplay I wrote. I've decided to write it as a book after I finish editing EVANESCENCE: FADING FROM DECEPTION.
What's so meaningful about all this? That around this time, I was losing hope and belief that I will be able to contest against published authors. Reading their work had me question my own. AM I GOOD ENOUGH? GOSH, THEIR IDEAS ARE AMAZING MINE SUCK! I LOVE TO WRITE, BUT THEY ARE MUCH BETTER THAN ME! I AM NOT A WRITER.......I am not a writer.
THAT IS WRONG !!
No matter what it is that you write, you write it because it makes you happy. Never compare your work to others. You will doubt yourself and that voice should be used to motivate yourself to improve and work on your craft. If you love to write, then in my opinion, despite what I hear everyone says, then YOU ARE A WRITERRR. No one can tell you that. You will have those times when you want to give up. Or you don't think an idea is good enough. BUT THAT'S ALL A PART OF THE JOURNEY! That's how you improve in your writing and get better. You will receive compliments and you will receive CRITICISM BUT WELCOME IT WITH AN OPEN MIND! READ ALOT as well.
For me, it turned into worrying about my grades to whether or not I am any good at writing at all. I am happy about those grades, but I glad he called me in because all it took was for me to hear JUST ONCE, "YOU ARE A WRITER."
All you have to do is put your love AND TRUST in your work, SIT DOWN, AND WRITE. And I will tell you the same thing he told me, because that is what you are.
YOU ARE A WRITER! :) NOW WRITE!
